A Time To Talk Counselling

Boys Don't Cry

National Men’s Health Week (MNHW) takes place every year and this year the focus is on the health and emotional wellbeing including Health and Safety in the Work Place.

Tina Deas, a counsellor and Life Coach at A Time To Talk Counselling and Life Coaching Service, Swindon days “A million years of not wanting to be seen as a failure seems to be wired into the brains of modern man who still carry the ancient legacy of being brave and showing no weaknesses. By nature a man is competitive, controlled, defensive and a loner who hides his emotional state to stay in control. We live in culture where social conditioning reinforces that ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘put on a brace face’ and ‘act like a man’ where aggression and anger become primary ways in which emotions are expressed. Boys grow into men who believe they should be strong, successful, independent and capable of solving their problems without help. A man who feels he should suppress his emotions sees becoming emotional as being out of control and showing his vulnerability and having problems with anxiety or depression is considered weak”.

Men are not invincible. Like women they have experiences in life that cause them emotional pain such as problems in the work place, losing their jobs, financial worries. They too, experience broken relationships, the death of someone close and so on. Sometimes the emotions that these life experiences cause feel unfamiliar and frightening and they can feel unable to cope with them. Anxiety and depression can be felt as physical symptoms such as lethargy, lowered libido and interrupted sleep patterns.

Annette Moore from A Time To Talk Counselling and Life Coaching Service adds “When under the pressure of problems or stress a man will generally clam up and stop talking so that he can concentrate on finding solutions. He may completely shut everyone out when he is under extreme stress. As men can find it particularly hard to talk about their feelings they are reluctant to seek or receive professional help from a counsellor to help with stress, anxiety and depression”

Depression occurs as often in men as in women. Suicide is the most common cause of death in young men under the age of 35 and overall 75% of suicides in the UK are by men. Unemployment can lead to men developing depression – often within six months of losing their job. Men may misuse addictive drugs, especially alcohol in an attempt to deal with emotional health problems or other addictive behaviours such as gambling and computer gaming.

However, help can be found through a variety of means such as exercise, diet, medication and counselling.

Tina Griffiths from A Time To Talk Counselling and Life Coaching Service says “Our counsellors can offer you the opportunity to build a trusting, caring, confidential relationship and non-judgemental environment within which it feels safe to start to look at difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours that you may be experiencing. This helps you to gain more insight, self-understanding and to find a way forward.

If you feel that any of the above relates to you or someone that you care about and would like some professional help please contact A Time To Talk Counselling and Life Coaching Service based at the Health Hydro in Swindon telephone 07722 023950 e-mail: enquiries@attt.co.uk